Always the same 
stella with a cold glass, 
double patrón silver, 
really well chilled, 
salted rim,
at the same bars 
but with different people.

And a lot of times, 
the same people are drinking, 
wishing they had a cigarette 
between their fingers
or a woman or man on their arm. 

They are more drunk 
than they realize 
and know they won't 
make it through the night
face up.  

I’m not really here
I’m somewhere off 
on a beach resort 
with a tall one, 
a pink umbrella, 
and a tropical evening breeze, 
drinking anything 
and everything 
as long as it has alcohol.

This is not cheers
but everyone knows my name
but I have no clue who I am.

My brain is numb
to the hammering 
in my head
the screaming from the loudest
drunks in the room
pretending I’m not leaning over
just a little too much
or smashed down on the bar top
my face in my three dollar drink
the plastic swizzle stick 
stuck up my nose.

And I’m laughing 
my ass off
and no one even notices. 

Damn, that’s a good 
stella with a cold glass, 
double patrón silver, 
really well chilled, 
salted rim
this is not cheers
but everyone knows my name
but I have no clue who I am.

January 23, 2010

On September 11, 2011, I sobered up. I now know who I am.