My second anniversary of graduating Summa Cum Laude from California State University, Long Beach, at age 75, is May 21, 2026. A celebration marking eight years from 2016 to 2024.
After the long journey Arriving home
the feeling of ending and beginning
of completion
of making the journey and lessons learned and the feeling
of elation and exhaustion
all at the same time.
Image by antonio pedro ruiz
It is not a victory
I didn’t conquer a war or win a game
I earned a moment of self-recognition
that I can climb any mountain swim across any ocean walk over hot coals
with my eyes wide open
I can see where I came from clearly
and the once emptiness I felt I now feel full elation.
Image by antonio pedro ruiz
That’s the amount of spirit I spent to reach this moment in time in my life
How much Do I have the courage to celebrate?
No, that’s not the right word
to recognize my own capacity to be faster than a speeding bullet more powerful than a locomotive to leap tall buildings in a single bound
I ain’t no Superman.
Image by antonio pedro ruiz
But I am me unwilling to give up to surrender to all odds
physical No knee surgeries on both knees were ever going to stop me
no chronic cough was going to stop me
no worldwide pandemic of death was going to stop me
spiritual no doubts no hesitation was going to stop me
from moving forward.
Image by antonio pedro ruiz
I will not stop until I reach the goal line until I reach home.
I cannot stop to rest
I must continue on
There are no obstacles that I can’t go through
over under around
My belief in myself in my stubbornness my unwillingness to surrender
because that word doesn’t exist I don’t recognize it I don’t accept even the thought of it.
Image by antonio pedro ruiz
When I see
and
hear the cheerleaders
in my life
pushing
pulling
kicking
dragging me
loving me
putting my hands up
reaching for the heavens
elation
I’ve just stopped long enough
for a moment
to walk to the end of the journey
and
Now the beginning
of
a new elation.
My life has been a rollercoaster of experiences, from The Bronx to Washington, D.C., to Hartford, Connecticut, and Los Angeles, California—first as a seminarian studying to become a priest, then as a local and national community organizer, a radio host and producer, a journalist and producer in both radio and television, a government bureaucrat, a youth mentor, and a small business consultant. Besides those roles, I’ve also tried my hand at being a jewelry vendor, a motorcycle courier, an airport shuttle driver, and a bartender in a German alpine-themed bar.
I am currently working on several writing projects, including a hybrid creative memoir about my time in Washington, D.C. This project serves as a personal and psychological exploration of addiction and trauma, offering an honest look at how someone can fall into a bottomless pit of despair, losing all judgment and moral clarity. Told through flashbacks, the memoir explores a complex theme: the physical and emotional experiences that shaped my struggles with addiction, ending with the scandal that would forever haunt me.
Leave a Reply