When you live in the megalopolis called Los Angeles, driving is more than a means of transportation. It is a connection to a network of cultures fueled by people seeking their best lives.
The cities, towns, and neighborhoods are portals to everyday cultures where surprises await around every corner. From the ocean to the mountains to the valleys, we snake through freeways and streets, searching for secrets and truths, seeking the prize of wisdom in plain sight.
Through them all, I am constantly reminded that they are merely red-carpeted entrances to adventures beyond, in a land that has captured my imagination and enthusiasm.
For nearly forty-two years, I have motored through this megalopolis on motorcycles and four-wheel vehicles of one type or another, over sun-drenched vistas, rain-soaked, flooded roads, hills slipping from their foundations, mountain paths that defy gravity, and potholed streets too poor to be called modern conveniences.
During twenty of those years, I hit the road every day in a mad rush to beat the always-present traffic on my way to Hollywood and a career of my dreams, the one you spend your youth envying. You were told it was not for a young man from the South Bronx projects.
It was a fast-lane journey, too fast, too whipped around, but that speed came at a price.
That was then. This is now.
In this moment, I have learned to be content with a more casual flow through the megalopolis we call Los Angeles.
one arm cocked against the driver’s side window
laid-back to signal
it’s okay
i’m cool i got this
the other arm relaxed
a finger barely touching the steering wheel it’s all cruise control baby
chillin’ shooting down the 405
Cool Driving.
Created with A.I.
not like the bad old days when it was slow crawling 15, 25, if i’m lucky, miles per hour
both hands tensed
grabbing the steering wheel in a headlock fingers turning purple teeth clenched inside my jaw
crawling north in a time bomb powered by the best japanese minds
up the 405 the 10 to labrea over wilshire landing in hollyweird
jazz sing-along on the radio while anonymous phone screamers scream into talk radio
lamenting an america that never existed
this is the real america
past gardena, compton, south central, pico-union
stay in your lane do not turn your head
is that a gun in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?
shoot across four lanes searching for exits and shortcuts
anything to still the boredom of sneaking over thirty miles of concrete and asphalt and steel and painted lines
no one is going anywhere
a long line of machine-carrying robots (like me) who dance (like me) the same dance
there was once a thrill to driving a car take you anywhere you want or need
fantasized freedom wrapped in metal and engineering wonder
before road rage and rush hours and hov lanes and clogged arteries that will drop a heart attack on me while i gobble breakfast in one hand and 185-degree coffee in the other and the steering wheel is wedged between my knees.
photo captured from a video produced by antonio pedro ruiz
that was then
cool driving now
no jAZZ no talk radio no rush
just the feel of power under and around me
laid-back
one arm cocked against the driver’s side window
to signal
it’s okay i’m cool i got this
the other arm relaxed
a finger barely touching the steering wheel it’s all cruise control baby
My life has been a rollercoaster of experiences, from The Bronx to Washington, D.C., to Hartford, Connecticut, and Los Angeles, California—first as a seminarian studying to become a priest, then as a local and national community organizer, a radio host and producer, a journalist and producer in both radio and television, a government bureaucrat, a youth mentor, and a small business consultant. Besides those roles, I’ve also tried my hand at being a jewelry vendor, a motorcycle courier, an airport shuttle driver, and a bartender in a German alpine-themed bar.
I am currently working on several writing projects, including a hybrid creative memoir about my time in Washington, D.C. This project serves as a personal and psychological exploration of addiction and trauma, offering an honest look at how someone can fall into a bottomless pit of despair, losing all judgment and moral clarity. Told through flashbacks, the memoir explores a complex theme: the physical and emotional experiences that shaped my struggles with addiction, ending with the scandal that would forever haunt me.
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